Howdy,

This past Friday, February 3rd, 2017, marked the halfway point of my exchange. Honestly, I don’t really know how to take that. One part of me is relieved, because this has been by far the most challenging thing I have ever done. Every day teaches me something, but with that always comes the feeling of embarrassment or disappointment that I have learned to just accept as part of the day. Sometimes, it feels like I have lived a lifetime in Spain, and that my life in the USA was all just a dream.

But another, stronger part of me is heartbroken by this halfway point. I have just started to feel comfortable here in Spain, just made strong great friendships, just started living in a place that feels like home, just started smiling and not feeling like I have to force it to come, just started understanding what it means to be an exchange student, and now I have less time here than what I’ve experienced. This year has gone by simultaneously as slow as honey and as fast as the blink of an eye.

I feel 5 years older and a 10 years wiser, and now I can completely communicate in a language that isn’t my own. Yesterday, a Spanish friend of mine told me that from 1-10 on a scale of fluency, she would put me at an 8, merely because my accent is very American. That made me so happy because when I got here, I was definitely around a 1 or 1.5 at the most. The fact that in 4 months I have improved so drastically makes everything seem worth it. Also, there’s the fact that I really really really really really really do not want to go back to Georgia and just America in general….yesterday I spoke with a friend of mine, Hannah Scotch, who returned to the USA after doing a semester here. She said that everything was harder, more expensive, and much more boring, and that she wants to come back more than anything. Hearing this solidified in my mind that I never want to go back. Yes, this place might be so so so hard, but at the same time, it’s my new home. The people around me are my friends and family. The love I feel is so real. The fact that when I speak English, I forget words because I haven’t said them in so long or that the expression I want to use doesn’t exist in English is evidence of my immersion. This is who I am now. I’m not just American or foreigner or Spanish. I’m a mixture of everything I have learned and been through. I’m happy.

Peace,

~Parker Grove