Howdy,
From the title of this post, I think you can tell exactly what I’m going to be ranting about. Today, the exchangies that came to Spain for a trimester are on their long flight home to the USA. That means that I have made it 1/3 of the way through mine. Wow. So what are my thoughts and feelings on the first third?
- Learning Spanish is a SLOW process. Whoever said that immersion was supposed to make you learn it quickly because it was either sink or swim was either lying or crazy. No. It is not easy. Every single day I go to bed utterly exhausted because my brain is still hardwired to English. This means that translating everything to Spanish and then translating everything I hear to English is PAINFULLLLLLLLLLLL. Sometimes it feels like I’m never going to actually learn the language. This is so hard because all I want to do is to be able to communicate freely and well and understand everything and share about America and who I am, but I just can’t! It is SO HARD and sometimes I feel like giving up. For the amount of time that I’ve been here, you’d think I’d be better at Spanish.
- HOWEVER: if you think about it, I’ve gotten SO much better. When I am at school or at home or out with Spaniards, we ONLY speak Spanish. 90% of my life has become in Spanish and so far I haven’t died, have Spanish jokes with my sister, communicate and tell stories and participate in conversation in my home at dinner, understand my classes and am doing (for the most part) well in them, and can get around with what I know. The other day in my technology class, my friend Irene said something in Spanish and I responded quickly and perfectly like I would in English. My friend Marta then said (in Spanish obviously) “wait Parker, you understood that? She didn’t say it slowly for you or used easier words or anything!” And then I realized how much I actually DID understand things. At this point, if I give my complete concentration to someone, I can understand them more or less completely.
- I do not like the Spanish lifestyle of staying up super late to party. While an occasional discoteca might be fun, for the majority of the time, the teens here are not interested in going out like we would in the USA. Everything starts rather early and end really late, and I have a very early curfew (11:30-12 depending on the night), so instead, I usually opt out and just hang out with Spaniards in the afternoons when we can go to a park or go out to eat or make crepes, and then hang out with Americans in the evenings. If I were to hang out with Spaniards at night, they spend the whole time calling people and not deciding what they want to do, so in the end I have to leave not having done anything. I know I shouldn’t be spending time with Americans, but if I want to go out at all at night, that seems to be my only option.
- I truly value my sleep. In the USA, sleeping was something that I believed I didn’t really do that often. If you ask my friends, they will tell you that I was always up and always doing something, even during ridiculous hours. I am NO MATCH for the lack of sleep that people get here. Even if they don’t go out (and if they do it is until 5-6 am), my mom stays up until 3 or 4 in the morning every day to work and then gets up before I do to keep working. She never takes naps and averages about 3-4 hours of sleep a night and is somehow still alive and working. The whole idea seems crazy to me.
- Everything you think about studying abroad is wrong. You imagine always going out, always trying new foods, always learning words, always having the time of your life, never studying, never being at home, never living, you know, a normal life. This could not be further from the truth. We are here because we are exchange STUDENTS. This means, in every aspect of the word, we are constantly learning and constantly tested and constantly tired. We fall into routine just like you would in the USA, and just like home, spend our lives studying and being sleep deprived and in our rooms trying to make an A.
- Teachers don’t really cut you slack. Maybe you don’t have to take one test or it’s okay if you miss one assignment. On the whole though, we are treated exactly the same as a Spanish student, which is really difficult seeing as, you know, we don’t understand anything you’re saying. You really have to work at it.
- Food is not “a mediterranean diet” like you read about, and it definitely isn’t veggies and cheeses and flavors. For the most part, Spanish food here is very processed and very unhealthy (hence my post about already gaining about 15 lbs). Going out for food is a lot of fun and yes, it is absolutely amazing and delicious, but I have found that at home, the food almost always comes from a bag or a box or a can and is always drenched in oil.
- People actually DO think that Americans are all fat and stupid and racist and Donald Trump lovers. The number of times I’ve been asked the following questions is honestly a bit embarrassing:
- Do you support Donald Trump?
- Do you have a gun?
- Do you shoot people?
- Do you shoot black people?
- Do Americans hate all Spanish people or only the Mexicans?
- Is your favorite food hamburgers?
- Why aren’t you eating a lot of meat?
- Why aren’t you fat?
- Do they have football in America (soccer)?
- Do you know anyone in the KKK? (this is the first question asked when I say that I’m from Georgia)
- People treat teenagers like they are very young and can’t be trusted. For example, they lock all the classroom doors, and only teachers are allowed to enter or leave during the day. You aren’t even allowed to leave to use the restroom during the day. Parents do pretty much everything for their kids, and most kids don’t know how to do laundry, cook, or do other household tasks. Parents also expect to know every single aspect of their kid’s life, which is very different from the privacy I am used to in the USA.
- No one goes out during the week, and really only leave the house on friday nights. This is weird for me, because I really cannot be cooped up in the house all week/most of the weekend, so I go out more than my family. Kids stay in to “study” but really it seems much more of wasting time on the internet. Which isn’t a bad thing, but I would much rather see the city than play “world’s hardest game” for hours on end.
- Everything here is REALLY old. You walk through the city and see a castle made in the 1400’s. The 1400’s!! There is nothing NEARLY as old in the states! To add to that, everything is so beautiful here.
- Getting along with host families is a lot harder than you’d expect. You are their child enough that they can yell at you and prohibit you from doing things, but not enough so you feel comfortable asking to do things or arguing when they say no. Nor do they pay for you, so it always gets a bit awkward and makes the gap between being a child and a guest even bigger. To me, I feel very different from a daughter or sister. I guess this just makes me SO much more thankful for my biological family.
- Social groups don’t exist here. There is no such thing as “popular” and “unpopular,” only “normal” and “nerds” (but there are only about 2 kids who qualify as “nerds”). This means that girls and boys are always interacting and that anyone can talk to anyone. It is SO much better than the USA in this regard. You feel welcome with anyone.
- I have already gained about 20 lbs (no I am actually not exaggerating) and the only reason I’m not fatter is because I walk EVERYWHERE. That being said, I absolutely cannot wait for our gym to open in January so I can finally start looking like myself again.
- Little things can make or break your day: if your host dad brings home raspberries or bonbons or if you don’t fail a test or if you have a whole conversation with someone without forgetting a word or if people talk to you in recreo or if someone asks you about the USA and then says “super chulo!” after you tell them or if someone starts cursing in English or even if your radiator in your room is working perfectly and doesn’t smell like it’s about to blow up. These things are guaranteed to make me have a good day, but my mental state can fall down just as easily. If anything goes wrong you honestly feel like you’re going to cry immediately.
- That being said, I have become so independent and it is no longer awkward to be completely by myself or not talking. I can figure anything out or if I can’t I am able to ask for help and understand completely in Spanish. I have grown up so much since last year and no longer require constant attention to see my worth. These three months have been some of the hardest of my life but because of that I think I am a completely different person. Everything seems brighter to me and I cannot believe that it has only been 3 months. I have finished almost exactly 30% of this year. It is FLYING by. It’s weird because some days it seems like it is never going to end and others I can’t even believe that it has been more than a few weeks since I was in the USA. Already this is the longest I’ve been away from my family and outside of America. And I still have 70% left!!
To all the trimester kids who are boarding their flight as I write this: thank you for your love, endless support, laughter, and everything about you that you have shared with me. You all are so inspiring and I will miss you so much. I hope that America is as amazing as you remember and I’ll look forward to the huge numbers of trips I’m going to have to take to see you guys. Hasta luego mis amores!
Peace,
~Parker Grove